It is sad that my son has a broken with his father. When I asked if he was coming to his graduation, he replied that he would be overseas at that time. He wouldnt have missed our other son’s graduation, but Dan is disposable in his father’s eyes. This is a big deal to me. Luckily when I mentioned it to my son, he said that he didn’t care. He is used to being disappointed in his father. His father doesn’t call him. His father has seen him for 2 hours since August 30th. I am sorry for this broken relationship. I wish it were different, for my son and for his father. Frankly it is his loss…..my son is his mother’s child and I love with that young man.
I have been joining new groups on Linkedin relaed to my field of social work and my specialization in developmental disabilities. Some of the groups are more applicable than others. Some are active; some are not. I particularly enjoy the groups of parents who have children with various disabilities. We share experiences and expertise about our children and for our children. It is very rewarding. I am looking forward to posting on Linkedin and receiving other people’s feedback. Hopefully, through this someone will find my blog and my website and I can continue to make an impact on my community.
I received the admissions packet from Chapel Haven the other day. There are soooo many forms. Each form means another decision to be made. First is the decison to send him to the program. I have to sign a letter agreeing to send him to the program and how to pay for it. Dan also has to fill out form saying that he wants to go to the program, what he hopes to learn at the program and what his fears are. Another form is a medical form. This form has to be filled out by a doctor in New Haven. So decision number two is what doctors will my son use while in New Haven. He will need a primary physician, psychiatrist and a dentist. Dan will also be linked with a local pharmacy which I will link to a credit card to pay for his medications. He will have a local bank account in New Haven. He also needs to get a CT reduced fare card for buses and trains. All of this means that my son is moving to CT. I am not ready to make him a CT resident yet. That will probably happen before he graduates. So he will still be linked to NJ, not only by me, but also by local agencies. He won’t receive services from NJ but we aren’t changing his residency just yet. Lots of decisions; lots of changes; all for the positive.
I am a single mom of a young adult male with significant developmental disabilities. He has attended ECLC of Chatham, NJ for the past 8 years. It has been a wonderful, supportive environment for my son. He has grown into a fine young man under their tuteledge. He is strong-willed, growingly independent and happy. He knows what he wants. Bernards Township where we live paid for his education as a result of going through due process in 2002. He has learned alot academically and more importantly in the area of Activities of Daily Living. He is graduating in June 2011. It will be a day full of mixed emotions. In January, he stayed at Chapel Haven of New Haven, CT for 5 nights. He loved it! He lived in an apartment with two roommates, learned to cook and clean, attended classes and went on school trips over the weekend. He was accepted two days later. Now we face the challenge of paying for it. Since Chapel Haven is out of state, I can not use funds from the Division of Developmental Disabilities. My son and I are meeting with the Division of Vocational Rehabilitation Services in 2 weeks to see if we can get funding. My son’s father pays child support which will contribute to the nearly 60,000 dolaar tuition, room & board. But it will not cover the entire cost. I will also let Social Security Administration know that my son will be living out of state in a post-secondary education institution. They hopefully will increase their contribution to Dan. Somehow we will put together the funds to pay for the program. In my opinion, this is critical for my son’s continued growth and education. Next, figuring out what services we will have to employ in CT.
I have a Facebook page now! You can find me, like me, and comment on my faceback page.